Jello Salad is an Oxymoron

Screenshot of Jello Book adI cook nearly every day, so I regularly browse recipes online, looking for inspiration to change up our menu. Since I also like “Free”, I’m in a Facebook group where people post links to free Kindle books. Today, those two interests combined with a free kindle Jello cookbook. I’m surprised anyone eats Jello on purpose, and more so that someone thought there was a demand for a Jello cookbook. But, there it is.

The title, “Jello Salads 250: Enjoy 250 days with amazing jello salad recipes…” is pretty ambitious. Could anyone possibly enjoy 250 days of nonstop jello salad? Are there any jello salads that anyone would, with a straight face, call “amazing?” Then there’s the sales pitch: “If you’re living a sedentary or inactive lifestyle, this book might INSPIRE you to eat more Jello Salad Recipes!” Talk about target marketing. This book is for sedentary/inactive people who need inspiration to eat more Jello. Can’t get more niche than that.

I remember Jello salads. Mom especially loved putting cottage cheese and pineapple in jello, which IMO (and the opinions of everyone else around the table), looked like it had already been eaten once, and then remolded when the unfortunate diner couldn’t keep it down. She also loved a spam/jello monstrosity, and one fateful meal included tomato aspic. The memory still makes me gag.

My first after-school job was waitressing at a Walgreens Grill where we served a bunch of jello. At the end of the week, any Jello still hanging around was nearing the rubber level of a Knox Blox (remember those?) and got dumped into a tub, mixed with the leftover strawberry pie, both the crust and filling, spooned into a parfait glass and finished off with that fake restaurant whipped topping that doesn’t melt. People LOVED it for some very strange reason I still don’t understand. We always sold out.

Just like drivers who slow down to rubberneck a gnarly accident, I did end up downloading the book. Free is free. Flipping through the recipes left me shocked, horrified, and surprised that someone could come up with 250 variations of things to entomb in jello. If anybody actually pays real money for this book, I will truly be amazed.

NOTE: This blog is being updated to a new domain. When you return (if you return), the new domain is weirdenough.rocks. Hope to see you there.

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