Stoners, rejoice! You can now order your munchies online, and have them delivered in 2 hours. You don’t have to rely on pizza, or restaurants to deliver. Get REAL munchies with Amazon Prime Now.
Many moons ago, the only thing we could get delivered was pizza. Then Chinese restaurants joined in. Eventually, lots of places starting delivering food, but nothing really hit the spot when you were too wrecked to leave the house. Now, thanks to capitalism, stoners in Colorado can get everything they could ever crave. Funyuns, double-stuffed oreos, twizzlers, chili cheese Fritos, and chocolate milk. Ordered online, delivered right to your door. How awesome is that?
My weed-filled nights are ancient history, so I don’t need this service. For ages, we sat around and talked about how great it would be to get munchies delivered. We even dreamed up a service called, “Eight Items or Less.” With this service, the delivery person would pick up anything, up to eight items, and bring them to you for one flat fee. Why a limit of eight? I couldn’t say. The brain cell that held that knowledge has long since bit the dust. I’d like to think that someone from Amazon was sitting around the coffee table as we played quarters and discussed the pressing news of the day. If so, a small royalty would be in order. But, like most things when the bud is being passed, it’s all good.
Because of past auto accidents, I’ve had back surgery, leg and knee surgeries, and most recently, shoulder surgery involving not just the rotator cuff like everyone else in a similar accident; I had to have my bicep fixed, too, because I don’t do anything half-assed. I’ve lain on a table while doctors stitched me up, and removed glass from my eyes, and face, and torso. I’ve used crutches so often, I have my own pair. I’ve taken so much pain medication over the years I can tell which ones work, and how fast. There isn’t a single part of my body that hasn’t been screened with an x-ray machine, ultrasound, MRI, or CAT scan, and I have the films to prove it.