My Cat Would Never Wear This

A friend sent me this picture today with this note: I’m having a hard time believing it’s for real. If it is, I’m wondering how much sedation they had to use on the model and imagining masked cats frantically reversing like insane bumper cars.

For some reason, I just can’t stop laughing, and on the list of all the things cats don’t like, laughing at them is pretty close to the top. There’s no way my cat would let me put this on her. “The instructions say: Working from behind animals head, hold side tabs and slip muzzle over face and eyes.” I think they’re missing some steps.

Look closely at the photo, which is not retouched. The handler has some obvious war wounds.

cat muzzle

In my house, it would work like this:

Step 1: Catch and sedate cat

Step 2: Attempt to put muzzle on cat

Step 3: Release angry cat, apply Mercurochrome to bite wounds on hands

Step 4: Locate cat behind sofa, lure out with treats

Step 5: Sedate cat some more

Step 6: Attempt to put muzzle on cat again

Step 7: Release yowling cat, bandage lacerations on hands and arms

Step 8: Locate cat under bed, attempt to lure out with more treats

Step 9: Wait for cat to take the bait

Step 10: Give up on cat muzzle, and sedate self.

This may reduce cat bites, if, and when, you actually get it on the kitty, but she is certainly going to make you pay for trying.

(In case you don’t believe this, here’s their website)

6 thoughts on “My Cat Would Never Wear This

  1. Brenda

    If I tried it with my cats, I think I would die a slow, painful death. After I was too weak to move from blood loss after trying to get it on just one of them, the cats would join forces to smother me on the floor.

  2. Angi

    What would you possibly need this for? And which comes first, the muzzle or the straight jacket? Because there’s no way this muzzle is getting on without restraining the arms and claws. And there’s no way a straight jacket is going on without a muzzle.

    I, too, would like to erase this from my mind. Just knowing about it has put us all in danger.

  3. Barbara Post author

    You obviously have a lot of experience with cats. Vs. the person who created the cat muzzle, who was probably shredded in the testing process.

  4. Hey Lola

    This reminds me of the time my vet told me to put plastic caps on my cats nails…and that it was really easy. I think probably my vet was trying to assasinate me via cat.

    I don’t know why. I’ve always been really nice to my vet.

  5. Susan

    This made me absolutely sick…how could anyone do such a thing.

    I would never, ever put this on a cat. I would, however, and with very little provocation or coaxing, put it on a child….or any member of the Palin or Kardashian family…or Jusitn Beiber…or Joe Biden at meetings…or….

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