Out of context

I post comments to other blogs all the time. Since I write mostly for me, and totally crack myself up, here’s a few of my favorites, totally out of context, whether they need it or not:

Wikipedia once sent me a message that said, essentially “stop vandalizing our website or we will BLOCK YOU.” Not nearly as awesome as the time a whole bunch of us got Banned For Life from a local bar because they had male strippers who were just awful, so we were throwing pennies at them and shouting for them to put their clothes back on. The bouncer said we were hurting their feelings and had to cut it out, or they would “remove us from the premises” which we took as a personal challenge. By the time they escorted us out, we’d run out of change, anyway, so it was totally the best part of the evening.

Men obviously think we grow boobs on purpose.

Damn. First the tequila gun, and now a five foot chicken. If they have any left, I’m driving to Texas right now. It will make up for the lack of baby pygmy goats in my yard. After you shared the video, and I watched it 5000 times, I decided to get some because they’d keep the lawn clipped, and look absolutely adorable doing it, but no, husband said we couldn’t get them because of “ordinances” or “covenants” or something, so at the very least I should be able to get a five foot chicken. I deserve it.

Charlie Sheen almost out-crazies Tom Cruise. Almost. But I’m sure Tom is happy the finger pointing and laughing is aimed at Charlie for now. It won’t last, because no one can totally out-crazy Tom for too long before their brain explodes or they turn into Gary Busey. Who can be that totally nuts all the time and still be walking around like a free man? Oh, yeah. Celebrities.

Lab grown meat just 6 months away. Zombie Apocalypse in 7.

Got something better? Make me laugh in the comments.

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